Do you still have your period?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
