Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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