I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
