I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
