So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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