how can u be prego again
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
