You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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