Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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