I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Girls should come with a carfax report
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
