we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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