All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
