Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
