Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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