so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
