You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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