You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
