STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
cat food counts as protein by the way
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
