u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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