i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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