yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
