Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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