is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
