it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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