Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
