wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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