I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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