pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
