he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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