Fuck appropriateness.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
