My liver just broke up with me...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
