i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
