Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
