yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
