woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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