Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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