I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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