I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize