Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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