Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
