More tranny stories later!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
