please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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