At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
handjob tips. give me some.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
