whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
