this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
