She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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