brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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