Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
