so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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