As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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