Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
