at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
