btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
