she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
