My Higher Power is John Stamos
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Come share oat with me in your robe
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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