i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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