I love black thongs
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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