When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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