I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
