its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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