Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
