but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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