I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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