Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Don't tell me you're on acid again
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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