if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
