Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
