She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
