Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
