Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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