HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
